Observations

Odd's of dying in a car crash 6,200-1
Odd's of dying due to smoking 3-1
Odd's of dying while reading
a billboard on the side of a bus 4-1

Politics

My brother asks the serious questions - like what would be the result if Napoleon had a B-2 bomber?

Jamba Juice

I went into Jamba Juice looking to develop some juicy bits of comedy, and I realized. The happy music, the smoothies, the bright colors, it's almost impossible to be depressed in here....

Oh I tried. I tried to think about genocide, starvation, the war in Iraq, but I couldn't do it. I found myself getting happy.

I'm thinking... "hold on... must be strong... must remain... unhappy...." but it didn't work.

I thought... "just a few more hours.... I can make it to the evening news..."

But I wound up leaving feeling giddy and happy despite my best intentions.